Man Flu – The Facts

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September 1, 2012 by benmblackman

I’m fine, I’m fine

On Wednesday morning I enquired via twitter what the symptoms of Man Flu are (I’ve never had it before you see, only recognised super-viruses and epidemics). I was shocked to find out the reality of this bug from concerned females across the country:

@toonkat63 told me:

‘It’s shivers aches fever sore throat fatigue so bad u can’t get out of bed for several days…dying in fact.’

She went on to assure me that I need not worry about the ladies in my life: ‘we have our own Special brand of flu, it’s called getting on with it but suffering in silence.’

Quiet souls aren’t they?

I think the silence bit was a typo so asked for clarification.

Definition of (female) subtlety

‘No we do suffer in silence as men never listen to the subtle hints when a woman’s not well’ she said.

Either her typing was out again or my eyes were weary, what did she mean by subtle I wondered?

@WrenTraining proffered:

‘According to hubby and sons, it’s WORSE than dying! And as a woman I could never understand! Wow that is bad!!’

@JayneAikido advised:

‘Oh no, it’s the worst. People have to pass you the remote because you can’t move from the sofa & bring constant lucazade.’

This is not nearly enough lucozade for #manflu

I told her I was on the bus. She seemed shocked, ‘just rest, don’t move, this is a state of Emergency.’

It was inevitably only a matter of time before the trolls arrived with @misscharl simply ordering me to ‘man up!’

@Ldbacksecretary seemed to suggest it could be a mental thing as well as physical. ‘Symptoms include thinking you are hot, runny nose, headache – but don’t worry as it’s all in the mind!’ Blimey, where does it stop I wondered?

After all this fuss, at least I could rely on @firsttimedaddy to speak some sense. ‘Manflu?’ he enquired, ‘You kept that quite. I won’t ask how your feeling, I know you don’t wanna talk about it.’

You can read the original story of one man’s battle against the worst super bug known to the world here – Diary of a Man (Flu)


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