November 7, 2012 by benmblackman
In the last 4 days my life has been improved 342.34% through the addition of an electric toothbrush. Whilst this improvement occured I read an article about how to sleep soundly in your bed at night. You’ve all heard it, ‘yada yada yada, try to stay away from electrical items late at night and turn them off in your bedroom.’
I wonder how possible this is these days? I would have guessed our household is fairly light on technology and electricals compared to most but when I thought about it, between us (there’s me, Mrs B and B Jnr – 3.5 years old) we seem to have ammassed the following:
4 lap-tops (of course only 2 of them work); 1 iPad; 3 landline telephones; 4 mobile telephones; 2 televisions; 2 stereos; 1 record player; 2 radios; an alarm clock; sky+; dvd player.
This is before we explore the kitchen worktops and cupboards where you’ll find a plethora of applicances including:
1 fridge; 1 cooker; 1 washing machine; 1 kettle; 1 toaster; 1 KitchenAid (I’m such a good husband, I saved up for this over a whole year and surprised Mrs B with it Christmas 2010 – cranberry colour since you asked and yes, it was an absloutely nightmare to source one of those in the lead up to Christmas); 2 handmixers.
I do think we should win points for being the only people in the whole world who still don’t own a dishwasher.
All of this, of course, before we even think about the amount of lighting Mrs B insistes on scattering around the place. Having spent hours of time and more pounds of cash than I care to think about purchasng lighting for all the rooms in our house over the years, she doesn’t like having main lights on in rooms. No, they are there just ‘for decoration’ really. Instead ‘we’ have proceeded to add several floor, table and bedside lamps to most rooms (totalling 9 – not bad considering we only have 5 rooms, discounting kitchen and bathroom where even Mrs B admits defeat and doesn’t put lamps – we prefer tealights and candles therein).
Maybe I should just sleep in the garage. Perhaps not because I have secretly stockpiled an arsenal of power tools in there so vast some days I visit them, stand proudly, nod my head and think, yep, I’m a man.
After the tumble dryer and chest freezer I am pleased to tell you I currently (I always have plans to add to this) have: 2 cordless drills; 1 corded hammer drill; 2 sanders (1 called ‘a mouse’ – power tools with cute names, discuss); workmate (ok, this isn’t electrical but I just wanted to note it really); 2 toolboxes (likewise); 2 tool belts (you wait for years for 1 to come along and then 2 are delivered by Father Cristmas. I don’t ever wear them, I look like a right tool, and not the sort they are designed for, but it’s good to know they are there if I need them);
jet washer and a jigsaw. The faithful jigsaw we purchased for £20 six years ago and was the main tool we managed to create a whole kitchen out of. Cutting through solid wood worktops with a £20 jigsaw is no easy task but Mrs B managed it (even though each cut did take over 20 minutes at a time. I think her hands have just stopped shaking now)!
On the downside, I may not be able to sleep effectively due to the levels of such items but at least I have cleaner teeth than I did 4 days ago. I would trade the whole list above (including my 3.5 year old daughter) for that toothbrush right now, I love it so much.
Next week – Cushions. Have you ever got enough cushions in your life I wonder? Women, note: this is sarcasm!