What if God was one of us?

2

November 19, 2012 by benmblackman

Not ‘most good songwriters.’

Most good song writers I listen to (interviewed) tell me that, the meaning of their lyrics are, ‘whatever they mean to each person, it’s not for me to tell my listeners what my songs should say to them.’

Well last night, whilst I was washing up, God literally spoke to me (through the lyrics of Joan Osborne’s 90’s hit, One of Us).

Please click here to listen to One of Us as you read on.

Joan might not want to tell you what she means but I’ll give you my take on it, for what it’s worth:

If God had a name, what would it be

Blimey, this is a ‘no brainer,’ it’s God isn’t it! 1 point to me.

And would you call it to his face,

if you were faced with him

Yeah, I mean, what else would I call him? Same on email I’d have thought (until I’d built up a better rapport over time, when, I guess I’d probably call him G Dog or Big G. Is he on twitter? He’s @God right?

in all his glory, what would you ask if you had just one question

I was at ‘the back of the queue’ when God was giving out stubble

Do wind turbines really create a sustainably better future or are the environmental savings offset against the carbon footprint created by the raw materials and machinery required to manufacture and install such devices?

That and, why didn’t you give me stubble like George Michael?

And yeah yeah God is great yeah yeah God is good     yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Blimey, alright, no one likes a desperate woman love, easy eh.

I’m pretty sure neither of these two were God

 

What if God was one of us

Just a slob like one of us  

Just a stranger on the bus

Trying to make his way home

Um, I don’t think Joan has been on the number 112 from Croston to Leyland before because I’m pretty sure if God was on it, he would improve the timetable, rolling stock and odour of the majority of other clientele.

Also, it doesn’t go ‘to Heaven’ so he would be on the wrong one.

If God had a face what would it look like

Easy, old, long white hair and beard type thing, everyone knows that Joan.

And would you want to see

If seeing meant that you would have to believe

In things like heaven and in Jesus and the saints and all the prophets

Heaven?

Well, yes, I should think so. If God actually was one of us and came up to me (a Stranger on the bus), as long as his ID checked out, I would be most interested to see him. If he could take me to heaven, even better. I’ve been to Mauritius and that was really nice, so I imagine I’d definitely like heaven (it would have people who bring you cocktails on the beach wouldn’t it)?

And yeah yeah God is great yeah yeah God is good

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Oh no, not this again, we heard you the first time love, just keep it to yourself can’t you?

What if God was one of us

Just a slob like one of us

Just a stranger on the bus

Trying to make his way home

I refer the right honourable member to the answer I gave some moments ago.

He’s trying to make his way home

We know!

Back up to heaven all alone

Poor thing, where’s Jesus?

Nobody calling on the phone

Ah bless, he should check facebook, I bet most people contact him on facebook these days.

Except for the Pope maybe in Rome

They have a weekly conference call.

And yeah yeah God is great yeah yeah God is good

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

You know when somebody tells you that you, ‘so have to watch this film it’s, like, the best film in the whole world ever, I just know you’ll love it,’ (and you know you won’t). She’s doing that isn’t she? ‘So, it’s a period drama, right, set in the future, in 2097…it’s got Danny DeVito in it.’

I’m pretty sure this isn’t God

What if God was one of us

Just a slob like one of us

Dude, I can’t let this one go any longer. If there’s one thing God isn’t, it’s a slob. Sure, he likes to chill on a Sunday like the rest of us but if I created the world in 6 days flat I wouldn’t be letting you call me a slob.

Just a stranger on the bus

Trying to make his way home

Just trying to make his way home

Come on, we’ve been through this already.

Like a holy Rolling Stone

Holy Rolling Stones?

Now you’re talking! Do you really think he is like a Rolling Stone because this is much more plausible than him getting on my bus…or, oh no, I see, it just rhymes with home doesn’t it and you can’t repeat that again (seeing as you have already used it 4 times. And you can’t use that thing about all alone or home or phone or Rome again really can you?

Oh

Back up to Heaven all alone

Just trying to make his way home

Nobody calling on the phone

Except for the Pope maybe in Rome

I would just like to point out that I am allowed to ridicule religion, having been an Alter Boy age 10–14 (I did it for the girls, they love an Alter Boy). Priests, Vicars and Nuns used to come to our house for dinner all the time, so there. Also, God will forgive me, so please, no religious nutter comments on this blog eh.

Next week, I uncover the true story behind hit song:                                                      7 Days by Craig David. I’m not sure it was entirely as he described it actually…

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2 thoughts on “What if God was one of us?

  1. Emily Benet says:

    This song reminds me of when I was a teenager, long summers spent in a tiny Spanish village with one bar, one juke box and 3 songs. This was one of the songs, the others were wet wet wet (feel it in my fingers) and the cranberries (zombie). I don’t know why I’m telling you this, but I’ve done it now. Basically, I had 2 months to analyse the song but it didn’t occur to me to do so. I think this is probably a good thing.
    Amen.

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