Cushions EVERYWHERE

1

October 17, 2013 by benmblackman

cushions pileI can’t cope with it any longer, I just have to make a stand. There are TOO many cushions in this house.

Cushions in the living room (well that’s understandable I suppose, if a little inconvenient, having to move several to engineer sufficient space to sit down on a sofa). I thought cushions are meant to make sitting down more comfortable, not hinder your potential?

This is normal, right?

This is normal, right?

Our sofa is, of course, the type where giant cushions actually make up the back of it, and that’s before we even start on the array of decorative cushions to complement the general ‘mood’ and ‘feel’ of the room we are seeking to create. I’ll tell you how I ‘feel’, ‘moody’ about all these ruddy cushions!

What are you looking so smug about?

What are you looking so smug about? Oh, I see, you’ve got a bloody cushion in there haven’t you?

There are cushions in the bedroom, cushions in the Calpol Kid’s room, cushions in the spare room (hand me down cushions, if you like, old ones from the bedroom and living room). The only room in the house that hasn’t got cushions is the bathroom but I know for a FACT it’s only a matter of time…

Even the cat has got a cushion (in the kitchen).

Not that she sits on the thing, she's too busy pushing me off the sofa!

Not that she sits on the thing, she’s too busy pushing me off the sofa!

I would go for a break into the garage but that’s got the ‘garden’ cushions in it (you’ve all got ‘garden’ cushions, I presume)?

The shed, the shed is surely my safe haven? No, that’s got the ‘camping’ cushions in it. I’m not even lying!

'Where are the rest of the cushions?' 'What do you mean the REST of the cushions?!'

‘Where are the rest of the cushions?’
‘What do you mean the REST of the cushions?!’

Have you ever been up in our loft? If you were unlucky enough to fall through the ceiling you’d be fine. The cushions stored within would, literally, ‘cushion your fall’! Of course, there are cushions in the loft. Where else would we put the hand me down cushions from the spare room (to make room for the hand me down cushions from the bedroom, to go into the spare room)?

Confused, you should try living here.

Sometimes it all gets a bit too much for me, so I go for a little lie down (except there’s no room on the bed, what with all the cushions).

Hello? Is there someone there? I can' hear you. I've got a book, don't make me use it.

Hello? Is there someone there? I can hear you. I’ve got a book you know, don’t make me use it. Hello?

So, I venture downstairs and snuggle up in a ‘throw’ (whatever one of those is – and don’t even get me started on how many of them we ‘need’). I breathe in the aromatic scent from one of the, multiple, scented candles we couldn’t possibly do without these days, and try to read my book. It’s not easy, the only illumination being the ‘mood lighting’ created from two 15 watt bulbed table lamps and those blinking candles.

Well, heaven forbid we actually use the main light (the lampshade for which took several family discussions and trips to numerous lighting shops to decide upon).

At least the loft has got a 40 watt light bulb in it, I suppose. And I can get Wifi up here.

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One thought on “Cushions EVERYWHERE

  1. MelJD46 says:

    Why keep buying cushions ? when you want a change you can buy or even make new covers… really not sure I understand the logic there

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